Natural Blues [Moby]

oh lordy, trouble so hard
oh lordy, trouble so hard,
don't nobody know my troubles but God
don't nobody know my troubles but God

went down the hill, the other day
my soul got happy and stayed all day

oh lordy...

went in the room, didn't stay long,
looked on the bed and brother was dead

oh lordy...

I'm Hatin' It

Quote Of The Day: "Oh fuck" From 'Man working for McDonald's. He had just realized that super legend (super cock) lotto winner extraordinaire Michael Carroll (the only thing that Swaffham is semi famous for) was queued up waiting for a Maccy D.

Fanta

I am drinking a glass of orange Fanta.

You came to me last night
with your wings blessed with light
you told me I'd died
that you've come for the soul behind my eyes
I spoke out, I've never felt more alive.

Ed was right all along!

Elbow are;

Epic
Lovely
Beautiful
Original
Woot

You rip the cord and curse the lord it's not your fault your kicking and screaming devising and scheming you release the anger you were told to bottle up old before your time the others are beneath you as your pain brews underneath you your not the girl you show to the world not warm and responsive but dead and cold, your heart so under used it's covered in moss and mould.

Carpet burns stain your skin
clothes your wore are ripped and torn within
You never eat right your getting thin and thin
You never have your picture taken
Your not attractive to the people, their stare takes your wind
Piercing eyes dissolve the beauty underneath.

Play Is The New Amazon

My love affair with Amazon [no link provided :P] is over. Too long they have taken advantage of my lazyness and good nature [and credit card naturally]. The final straw [and there were so many straws you could make a straw house, nay straw village] was The Mighty Boosh Season1 being delayed by two weeks. So I signed up to play.com [link provided ;)] and not only was it despatched within 24 hours it was also £1 cheaper with free delivery.

WTF Is Infant Massage?

I saw this advertisement in Eco Echo this bullshit/epic magazine about organic farming and natural therapies and such which was advertising to train as an infant massager, which is basically where you massage infants. It may as well have said "Interested in paedophilia? Then You Will Love This" Sick freaks!?! Who wants their kids touched by strangers anyway...apart from Michael Jackson, obviously.

SNPP.COM-Fully Endorsed By Ally Enterprises "best simpsons site ever"

Gentleman Luck

I don't believe too much in luck, but for some reason I won't allow myself [like ever, ever] to drop bomb #13 into the safe at work..[by bomb I mean a piece of blue colored plastic which holds money when there is too much in the tills, and by drop I mean it goes down a funky lil shoot into the safe where we can harbor the hard cash for hard drugs]. Even if it was the last bomb in existence I would sooner stuff the money into insert employees name here mouth. I don't give a *expletive* about black cats or walking under ladders or any of this lucky charm bull shit "Awww is that a dead bunny's foot your holding there? How cute!". But I draw the line at bomb #13, it will destroy us all...

I want to write and direct a romantic comedy for this generation, called Spam. "You call yourself a man? Your nothing but spam to me you bastard" Starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan...subtitled You've got Spam bwahahahahaha [i'm tired and also tired again]

'Gasms

A random site I stumbled accross for your oral, sorry aural pleasure. If you were wondering how I came accross it no I didn't type auralgasams hot naked lesbians into Google, I was trying to find out who were supporting Coldplay for their UK tour but all I got was some pants about Richard Ashcroft at Live8.

It's Coldplay Man

COLDPLAY at Earl's Court, London on THURSDAY 15/12/2005 at 19.30. I will be there, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Also so will my sister. Here's the exciting part kids, there are two more tickets up for grabs! [although it's actually just one because Kayleigh may end up asking some random person] To obtain said tickets you must either orbit the moon successfully using only bottles of panda pop, spend the night in a haunted house or sucessfully breed a half Racoon-half human so we can't point and laugh at them. Failing that, John...You wanna come? The only bitching thing is getting time off work and getting the train there and back, but screw it I don't care it's Coldplay man!

EDIT: BTW, I can always sell the tickets on to other people at hilarious prices on eBay if needs must. Yay all round.