Tom Txt

From sending "hilarious" random messages to each other at work to Chris Genn randomly txting Gilmour's home phone gibberish we all know and love BT's txt a landline service but did you know...

Former Dr Who Tom Baker, who found new fame as the saucy narrator for hit TV comedy show "Little Britain", has taken over as the new voice of BT's text service.
Texts sent to and from landline phones can now be delivered as voice messages in Baker's recognizable deep tone for the next three months.
"What appeals to me most is the thought that I will be bringing good news to people whether it is a cheeky message, a birthday greeting or just a quick 'hello,'" Baker said. "Whatever it is, hopefully my voice will bring a smile to people's faces."
Baker, who spent 11 days recording every single sound in the English language and 11,593 phrases, will be able to blow kisses -- by texting "xx" -- and can even deliver rude words. BT said around 230,000 of its customers were registered to send texts from their landline with around 1.4 million texts sent every week.

Quote Of The Week

I know what's down the hatch, hahahaha!

-My mums friend Jo, who has been watching the second season of Lost and is six hours in apparently. She could neither confirm nor deny that the second season was as rubbish/boring as the first.

Cake

I might be 22 now, but you wouldn't think it. To really fire this home I got this birthday cake this year:



Awesome, it made me want to not watch the magic round about all over again.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

Happy Bowl Day

As some kind of pre-emptive birthday celebrations I went out tonight and played bowling and set some kind of personal best and beat everyone at the same time. Obviously I realize glory is fleeting and it won't last, hence me lapping it up tonight. My score was...

Engine Driver By The Decemberists

I'm an engine driver
on a long run,
on a long run.
Would I were beside her:
she's a long one,
such a long one.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

I'm a county lineman
on the high line,
on the high line.
So will be my grandson:
there are powerlines
in our bloodlines.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

And I am a writer,
writer of fictions,
I am the heart that you call home.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones,
my bones, my bones.

I'm a money-lender:
I have fortunes
upon fortunes.
Take my hand for tender.
I am tortured,
ever tortured.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

And I am a writer,
writer of fictions,
I am the heart that you call home.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones.
I am writer,
I am all that you have hoped of.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones,
my bones, my bones.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

The Terrible Twos

This blog, which is actually my fourth(ish) personal blog is now over two years old, and i'm stuck, to be honest I can't seem to draw that magical line between fun and lame, interesting and boring. I don't seem to be able to post freely anymore, there is cleary something lacking...maybe i'm burnt out, maybe after blogging for over half a decade (seriously!) has taken it's toll. Ruomlig has risen from the ashes, as fresh as morning dew and I strongly urge you to never come here again, wait...come back I just thought of something to post! Noooooo!

Reflection...

Hey, me again! I don't know whether you have found this, but when I look at my reflection in different mirrors around the house, workplace, pub toilets, the kettle at work...Yes that's right chico the kettle! I look often a completely different person, thus making me confused as to what I actually look like, and how other people see me, sometimes I think "ew is that really me", then on another occasion I will think "fuck, you da man...man" Anyway, I try to look in the most forgiving mirrors as often as possible to keep myself sane. Anyway below is a picture of me from a knifes POV, and if you think that's crazy you should have seen me through the eyes of a spoon...

Words

I keep getting my words mixed up. Well okay, it has happened twice in the last two days. Firstly I, when talking to my Nan told her my mums Kettle had broken and that it had burnt my work clothes...yep I meant to say iron. Secondly, today I asked mum to make me "special custard" to go with my chicken pie and vegetables and fuck me, yep I meant special gravy.

Introducing The Ipod Killer Alternative

Below is the sweet sweet Sony Reader, it's like an Ipod but it's for books (and mp3's lol) but yeah wow! Books will be the new sex when you have one of these. No more heavy lifting (turning pages) and no more paper cuts (gasp!) get acquainted with it here and weep at it's beauty.

Q O T D

"What's the point of having a carwash if you don't use it?"

To which I wanted to reply "What's the point of having a brain if you don't use it"

Ah, Sunday morning blues.

Lost? Pretty Much!

Lost has finally come full circle on CH4, are we any closer to actually finding out what's going on? Who are "the others"? Will Hurley ever loose any weight? Also do they really have enough material for 7 seasons? Why can't they just condense it all and make the show more fun for everyone, Season2 starts this spring and looks just as bonkers. Irrelevantly Invasion which CH4 also has the rights to looks a much more promising show, but then we have only seen the first two episodes and to be honest the first two episodes of Lost were fucking epic too and it didn't take that long to visit boresville.

Till Death Do Us Part

Lately I have been thinking a whole lot about my own mortality, not just that but loosing those around me that I care about. What actually happens when we die? Where do we go? Heaven? Reincarnation? *gulp* Hell? What will happen to those that we leave behind? What kind of legacy will we leave? Most crucially (actually least crucially but I thought I'd end with a joke) will we come back as Zombies and feast on the brains of our ancestors? Only time will tell...

Hype Hype Hooray

I literally didn't believe the hype around the launch of Microsoft's second foray into the video game industry the Xbox 360. Apparently in the UK it has been the fastest selling console ever (beating the *cough* gamecube). The problem is Microsoft got greedy and decided to launch the machine in not only America and Europe but Japan as well, and this has left machine's in short supply. Frustratingly while there are serious shortages in the states and in parts of Europe the machine is selling poorly in Japan. There is quite a bit of bad feeling among the geeks I mean people who use forums on the internet (so, geeks). There was a story in the news about people who had pre-ordered consoles from Amazon.co.uk way back in August but never received there console on launch day, yet people who pre-ordered at the end of Nov received there's, there was also a report in a local newspaper that some twat, or twaticusmaximus who pre-ordered 30 consoles off Amazon and received every single one and then put them all for sale on eBay the next day. Here is one site where people are venting there rage and dismay and here more importantly is a site that aims to help people get hold of a console. It's weird I didn't even want a 360 till they were in short supply, but now they are like gold dust I am lusting after one like a Bill Gates obsessive (and I like OMG hate Bill Gates). So, there you go hype must be like some kind of parasite clinging on to more and more victims, sucking the life (or, money) out of them till they die (or, cave in and by one).

Kudos

Kudos to John Blackbourn for the header, Kudos for Alexander Gilmour on Ruomlig, kudos for Microsoft on finally replenishing 360 stock, kudos for Ally on her mock results, kudos for me on this post, kudos for all bwahahahahahaha!

Teenage Fucking Tourette's Camp

The aptly-named Teenage Tourette'’s Camp will follow five British kids at the unique camp in Chicago, where they will be "allowed to swear, behave obsessively, act compulsively - and enjoy every minute of it."

One reality show to far? Well when one of kids used the N word to describe a black person, and then another kept repeatedly saying "the twin towers, the fucking twin towers" it was so far past the line, you could see another line saying "what the fuck are you doing? You should have fucking stopped about a mile back. But hopefully, in all seriousness this show will help the children and bring a better understanding of the condition.

The Heist

Blurring the lines between what's good TV and what is the forbidden taboo was tonight once again a Derren Brown show called Heist. Basically he brain washes or "programs" 4 people to (without knowing) into stealing £100,000 from a security guard (played by an actor) [they got toy guns and everything!] they even sealed off a portion of London (near the bank of London) to make it all happen. 3 of the 4 stole the money and ran as fast as they could to try and get away, before being cornered by camera men and Derren himself, they were then at the end of the show "de-programmed" it was addictive viewing, but I'm sure it will inspire at least one person to actually go and steal some money, and when they stand up for their crimes in court no doubt they will say "Derren made me do it, him and his evil Nazi mind tricks" Quite why I had to bring Nazis into this post I don't know.

The loveable drug addict

Someone recently (well it was last year) said I remind them of Macaulay Culkin. When I asked whether they meant the loveable rogue child star of such films as Home Alone and Uncle Buck or the latter day drugged up Jackson molested twenty something, they said "Well, somewhere in between" So, thanks for that...luckily they were nobody important and we had only spoken though HI5 and then I subsequently severed all ties with them.

Stop making the eyes at me, I'll stop making the eyes at you

So my NYR is to make more eye contact with women, because truthfully I do very little of this;

pretty girl looks into my eyes

I look away, at something/anything else

repeat until depressed and alone.

So eye contact=girlfriend, that is the theory.

It Came From Your Dreams!

It's a well known fact that I frequently experience night terrors, last night was quite bad, mainly because I don't remember it. Described by my mum as "the ramblings of a mad man" it's quite worrying, what happens when I come to share a bed with a future partner, will I sleep-murder them or worse [worse?!], soil myself while sleep-screaming the theme from Thomas the tank engine. The other night mum actually came into my room to see what the hell was going on, apparently she scared the crap out of me as I shot up against my headboard and said "fuck" once again, I remember nothing. The epic saga continues.

8:24:57...8:24:58...8:24:59...

24, the show that turned Kiefer Sutherland into a sex god and more importantly a respected hollywood actor again is back next month, what will happen to Jack? Is he still on the run sporting that sexy biker jacket? How many months or years will have past since the previous season or day will Tony and Michelle make babies? and the one question to rule them all, will Bon finally finish watching 24 on dvd? The answers to some if not all of these questions will soon become apparent, Mr President.

HA! I just noticed my site still says Shough05

You climb up a ladder to restore your faith
get down from there it's not safe
you tried and tested the laws of life
gravity is not about to be beaten
you're cold, you're freezing
no logic or reason
every sunday of every month
gathering like dust
in God, we trust.

Look mom I'm on TV

Just an observation, but it appears to me that it's currently more of a challenge to not be on TV than it is to actually be on it, it's not just TV other media such as newspapers don't help things. It just seems so cheap, to spunk yourself all over the news over anything. Also, does anybody else think highly suspiciously over that six year old girl who was taken from her home while her mum was "doing the housework" and her dad was "drying off her brother in the other room" I mean WTF, how did the "sex maniac" get into their house in the first place? My guess, although wrong would be that they are all in on the story, and have decided to sell their story to the papers to get minted, expect to see the sex maniacs story in his own words in next months Heat, and then get the tour around his luxurious home in Hello. Freaks.

two thousand and six

Firstly, Ally has one of the sexiest voices ever and yes I keep re-playing that phone message over and over again. Secondly, happy new year everyone I would love to pretend that this site will get bigger and better (like John's will) but it won't, it's just me and a keyboard on a clean white slate. Thirdly, as John has discovered The Arcade Fire are glorious and ought to be bigger than Jesus (in music terms anyway), buy their album Funeral or else. Fourthly (resist urge to correct me Ally) for you lesser people celebrity big brother starts this week with apparently Michael 'Murdering' Barrymore in the lineup, personally I hope he kills them all and wins by default let the hilarity ensue.