ROCKSTARGAMES.COM

Worth a visit all the time, but especially because of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas coming out. All links lead to genius and dedication.

I Did This

We have currently sold out of our initial copies of (Insert item Here) If you order now, we will dispatch as soon as we receive additional stock from our supplier, which will be after the items release.

-Now appears on Amazon.co.uk on items that are not out yet, that pre-orders exceed the amount of initial copies of the item that Amazon have. Must have been those evil emails I sent them :)

Always: By Blink182

I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready

Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always

And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights I hate them
Lets start this again for real

So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready

Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always

I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying

Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always

Like A Beaver In The Wind

Tributes are already coming in for Alex 'Ruomlig' Gilmour, he has left Blogger forever...turned his back on the big B. Don't cry for him though, he's in a better place now...the real world.

Grand Theft Gameage

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is out this Friday on PS2 [on PC spring next year]. It’s set to re-invent the series, you can pretty much do anything you want in this game, annoyingly in previous GTA games when you dive-bombed your car into the water you would drown, rejoice then that this time around you can swim! Anyway this is a minor matter, it’s 4 times the size of Vice City, and brilliantly the weapons and fighting have been modelled on Manhunt, one of Rockstar's most controversial games, this one isn't for kids you stupid parents! Hey, ever loose your favourite car/tank in previous games? Fret not, cars that are found by the road unattended end up in the pound, all you gotta do is break in and steal it back...rock! Also you can take out a van at night and rob any individual home you like...be careful though the owners might just be awake and further still they might be packing some heat, also throw in the fact you can recruit gang members to do yo' killing for you makes it all a sweater deal. Anyway, to the actual point! GTA: SA has officially just joined Half-Life 2, Halo 2, Doom 3 and so I'm told, Metal Gear Solid 3 on the list of the most wanted games of the year that have been leaked onto the internet. Whoever is responsible probably will never get brought to justice, but something really has to be done about this problem before everyone has broadband and everyone who wants the games is just simply downloading them, because that is when the game companies will go bust.

Little Britain

The new series of the once cult-now most watched new comedy is now two episodes in on BBC3, now there is not only the characters you may have loved from series one but a whole host of surreal and twisted and some what legendary new ones.

Lou [The "disabled" one] and Andy [his carer] return funnier than ever, one scene featured Andy meeting a Polish lady in a pub who he was going out with, he went to order a drink for him her and Lou and as he had his back turned Lou got up, turned his wheelchair over and spun the wheel and starting screaming…Andy turned around to see this and Lou said "she did it" his reply was "You evil Pole" Epic.
Most Likely To Say: I want that one or Yeah I know

Some of the new characters include WI women who are racist, scenes see them rating food at various places only to find it has either been made by a black man, or lesbian or someone more specific, and when they realise this they spew out sick from their mouths Most likely to do: Throw up

Bubbles, another new character who has been staying at a health farm for months without paying: She is grossly over-wait, and can be seen running around naked mostly.
Most Likely To Say: Call me Bubbles darling

Best quotes so far include: The computer Says No [a lady working in a bank, whatever the customer wants the computer….
And "But I'm Hungry Now" followed by "I want Bitty" [A 20 something man from an eccentric family who still gets milk from his mothers breasts. Anyway I've said too much, don't worry though there is vast amounts I haven’t even touched on, like the always brilliant Marjorie Doors of Fat Fighters, The only gay in the village, Vicky Pollard: "Yeah but no but" and Sebastian...the prime ministers aid. Just watch it, it's one of the great British comedies of our generation.

Useless Information

Recently Homer Simpson was voted the TV character that people would most like to become President of America [I think it was carried out by The Radio Times]. Martin Sheen’s character from The West Wing [who is an actual president durrh!] came in second.

You are in the middle of 2001: A Post Odyssey That's right, I suddenly thought of a whole bunch of things to post. I would just like to make a point of this fact. Moving on...

The Doo lives on!

Scooby Doo has officially become the cartoon with the most episodes according to something I watched the other night, it's closest rival The Simpson's currently trails behind. The show's 350th episode, Scooby-Doo Halloween, is being screened on the Boomerang channel on Friday, beating the previous record held by The Simpson’s (335) Of course nobody could give a crap, certainly not me as The Simpson’s would wipe the floor with Scooby and gang every time...even if the films have the insatiable Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Something I Probably Never Told You #1

After getting back from mine and Bon’s holiday from Kefalonia I had just enough energy to talk with my parents and share all details I could remember, then I watched Dumb and Dumber, my mission over I fell asleep during the end credits and woke up 8 hours later.

Picture: Epic. Me: Took.

An epic picture I took earlier this year. Click for a big bastard sized version.

Robot Wars Of The Future

Coming up next on Robot Wars…robot John Kerry and robot George. W. Bush prepare to go head to head in the craziest fight since Tom met Jerry…

Kerry: I’m going to Osama Bin Laden yo’ ass bush!

Bush: Yeah, well I’m going to make up some story about you hating America when you were in the army…die!!

You know what? I'm all humoured [not a word but whatever] out. I've got nothing left to say or joke about for now at least. Come back in a month of two and hopefully I will have regained some momentum, usually it helps if I get angry as it drives me to post more for some reason but honestly I haven't been angry in a while. Still, don't piss me off just so that I post I won't like that at all!

People that look like people vol. #1

So, I/other people have deduced that in my/their opinions these people look like these slightly more famous people...

Alex Gilmour-Frank Grimes [from The Simpsons]/Tim Henman
John Blackbourn-Michael Owen
Alex Diplock-Fred Durst

Okay, so poor that there are only three, and I haven't got one for myself but there you have it.

Me, the fifteenth King of Shough...Here at the beaver enclosure at my local zoo...With my reputation? They must be insane in the membrane!

-Yeah, I should stop with the constant beaverisms, I just can't.

Tom Jones

Look around, there are plenty of 'Robe A Likes' (people that look like The original Robe) But Tom who has been working at the petrol station recently is the closest yet. He initially looks like him to start off with before you add the fact he also wears glasses, and superbly has the same sense of humour as Robe himself. I wonder what the actual odds are that they are from the same gene pool? A thrillion to one probably but who cares it's cool all the same, he can fill in for Robe-Original, a Robe2.0 if you will.

Cheers!

Thanks to Amazon for sending me an English version of The Simpsons: Season 4. Also thanks for finally delivering Pro Evo4 which is the best football game ever made, and the master league is near life consuming. 10/10 all round then, hooray.

11.16.04

This is officially the date when ya'll get yo' hands/other appendages on Half - Life 2. It most certainly will rock your world.

King Shough

The following took place between 14.35 and 19.40...

I was the king of the world petrol station today, from the hours between 14.35 and 19.40 respectively. Just me and my band of brothers James Barker. It was actually pretty legendary asuming the role of Visor [super being reserved for actual supervisors]. Thankfully it wasn't too busy and nothing really went wrong apart from the constant turning off of chiller3TM. Anyway it made a change from the "norm" which is generally a good thing.

22:49:57...22:49:58...22:49:59

22:50:00!

A View To An Apology

With comments in red

Dear Customer (Person who has complained)

Thank you for writing to us at Amazon.co.uk with your concern. (You bastard, haven't you got anything better to do?)

First, I would like to apologise for the delay in dispatch the item
"Pro Evolution Soccer 4 (PS2)" from your order (#026-9920064-6758048).

Please know that this item has proven to be a very popular item. We
have many customer orders for this item, and we've just begun
receiving copies from our supplier. We are filling orders as quickly
as we can on a first-come, first-served basis. Bla bla bla, lies lies lies, sorry sorry sorry

One of the ways we show our commitment to our customers is by our
prompt service.Yeah, right! Thus Thus? WTF?, I have contacted our Fulfilment Centre and
asked them to dispatch this item to you as soon as possible on a priority basis. Ha, ha! You going to get it last/after everyone else has their copy

Rest assured that we expect to dispatch this item on October 18,
2004. On the date of dispatch, we'll send you an e-mail message
confirming the date, contents and method of delivery. Stop lickin' ma ass!

The ease of ordering online, combined with promised delivery is what
makes your shopping experience with us a happy one. However, at times
the latter is not so prompt and we assure you that it is being dealt
with on a priority basis. Yada, yada we are soo good

Further, we apologise for the condition in which "The Simpsons Season
4" arrived. Yeah, it was in fucking French!I have placed a new order (#025-1439014-6353952) for the
same item, and it will be dispatched as soon as possible to the same
address. We will dispatch it when we get our French version back :P

There will of course be no additional charge for the replacement
order. I should frickin' hope not! However, because we are sending you a replacement for a damaged or defective item, our returns policy states that you must return the original item to Amazon.co.uk within 30 days. Or, die! Amazon.co.uk reserves the right to charge the price of the replacement item to the payment card used for the original order if you do not return the original damaged or defective item to us within 30 days of the date of this e-mail. This returns policy does not Probably does affect your statutory rights.

On this occasion, as you are in the United Kingdom, you may use our
Freepost address. Thanks a buncharoonie!
Our complete Returns Policy is set out on the Amazon.co.uk site. Just incase you fuck-up
We will notify you by e-mail at the time the new order is sent out to
confirm the date, contents and method of delivery. Unless we forget that is

We pride ourselves in being focused on customers like you (unlike you) who make
our company successful Damn straight. Thank you for shopping at Amazon.co.uk. (See you in hell!)

Harry Hill

An Audience with Harry Hill was on tonight [9pm ITV1]. It was quite frankly hilarious unashamed, random "I can't believe he just said/did that" fun. The man, Hill is surely getting funnier by the year. I and you should be looking forward to a new series of Harry Hill's TV Burp, if not just fantasize about a new series of The Bill or something.

Something is different...Did you get a haircut?

No, I didn't well okay I did but my Blog didn't. It's less white more blue, the black is still ever present sure but more color is seeping in. Now the links remain the same color because before they didn't which people Alex thought was annoying. The pictures are gone for now because there is nothing new for you to stare at so what's the point? Might as well be black too! Also it's smaller, maybe too small but I like it. But if you like me would rather read posts actually about something then take no notice of this because it will probably change again in a weeks time.

Die Amazon Die!

The love affair with Amazon is over, gone, dead...Forever. They used to be the greatest, they still are good but no longer the greatest. They used to offer exactly what you wanted or better for cheaper and delivered at a great price in a short amount of time. Even on one epic occasion I bought a dvd which they later put down in price and actually credited my account with the difference...Super fantastiche! But now they offer pretty much what other online sites offer but with added fuck-ups! I recently purchased [despite not really having much money] The, Simpsons Season 4 on dvd, great yeah! Although they gave one with French packaging!! Reading the foreword by Matt Groening in French isn't as easy as it sounds, in fact it's impossible I only understood the very basic things. Now, they have really done my nut in by saying something will be dispatched/delivered in a certain time-frame and disappointing again. Buck yo' ideas up Amazon or face da boot.

Return of the Content King

Something that gets moi bloggin' again is mistakes and general wrongness, specifically someone being miss-quoted etc. I actually said there was more cutting off of limbs than it looks like there is in Saw (or words to that affect). In related news about myself, I have officially got to go to the hospital Tuesday ninth of November, 9am. For my testage. Also Pro Evo 4 will arrive at my doorstep tomorrow, an event in itself. The greatest football game ever TM just cranked things up a notch...Die FIFA2005, Die! Bwahahahah! That's all for now my peasants.

Deep Space Beaver.2

Episode two is online cos I wanted to delete it from my computer [not because I still write it, it was written like a year ago] anyway it's got plenty of jokes and one stroke of genius that features a code [that annoyingly goes of the screen]that you can translate into words if you can be arsed. Anyway enjoy/don't the choice is yours!

Public Service Announcement

This is a message to the Alex and John's of this world, stop asking me to post...Or be dammed to a fate worse than mine bwahaha!

A Link To The Future

Andre Jordan replaces Alex Gilmour [deceased] [the site not him!] on the links, this guy [whoever he is] really knows how to get what he's thinking into words and onto the web and it's done with subtle class, humour and emotion. The Mr Gay Checkout Man story had me laughing like Janice off Friends and that's just the tip of the Titanic sized iceberg.

Where have all the songs gone?

I haven't wrote any songage for a while but last forced myself to [probably not the best way to go about things] last night, anyway I wrote a lame one about the war which only has one epic line in it so I was just going to post that but I decided that's just as lame so here is the whole thing;

Political Fuck Up
End of the fighting, fighting, fighting
Sick of the lightening from all the bombs overhead
Send another 100 to the country, you'll never sleep at night in bed
Political fuck up, nonsense propaganda, words so long they hurt your head
Another explosion, suicide bomber 100 wounded 24 dead
Report on the news another one captured everyone suddenly cares
Another nightmare, it's world war 3, something doesn't fit
Where is the reason, where are your friends
Pray for forgiveness, till your end.

Radioactive Man

As you know/don't know, when I go back into hospital I have got to [among other things] have a thyroid test. Talking to Annie earlier she said she had this test/treatment done a few years back and they made her drink a radioactive [erm wha?] iodine drink and then do some sort of a giga counter test [or something!] this scared me slightly but also gave me visions of becoming the next Spider-Man, Hulk, Other Marvel Character. But anyhoo, these hopes and or concerns faded when I came home and told my mother about what Annie had said and she told me that I don't have to have this done yet and may not have to, all I need is some sort of 'run of the mill' blood test. I wonder what the chances of getting bitten by a genetically modified spider are, hmmm...

Thirteen Senses are going to be the next big thing, their epic debut album The Invitation is out now. I haven't got it, but somebody told me it was good.

Today @ Work

Karen comes through to the 'till area': Are you okay? It sounded like you was in pain!

Me: No, I was just yawn-screaming

Try it, you might like it!

Silverstone, dead?